The Week-End When I Bought an Oil Painting By Mistake and Cooked Lumberjack Cake

There is an auction house around the corner, I seldom visit it as the owner and I harbour a grudge for a reason long forgotten, if it ever existed. But Friday being a bank holiday, he and I went to the viewing. Me being ready to hear the not-charming owner welcoming me with is usual "Not dead yet?"

I spotted a frame described in the catalogue as regency frame with print. Grubby yes, print no. Being on non-talking terms with the expert, I could not let him know that this was an oil painting of a golfer so I turned to him whose eyebrows furrowed which usually means "are you sure of what you are saying? they are experts you know" but he liked it, too.

So Saturday I got myself a bidding paddle. When number 10 came up, I gaily lifted my paddle, sadly somebody else in the room was bidding against me so we quickly reached the top end of the estimate: £20, up and up it was going, this is when a women coming out of nowhere, kicked me in the guts in order to reach a seat where she had plonked a bag, my attention span flew out of the window. "Selling at £28" NOOOOO, Paddle, "£30 with the lady" "Sir, £32?" "sold for £30 to the lady". That is me! I am the lady and proud owner of a elegant black and gold regency frame but what is in it?

Came 3.00 o'clock after a well earned pub lunch in one of Greenwich best kept secret, we went to retrieve the object. It took a little longer than expected since my name had been misspelled and the receptionist eyebrows furrowed a couple of times which meant "are you sure you know your name? we are experts you know"

Back home, armed with a bottle of window cleaner and a hammer, I started on the frame, the glass, the back, the glass again, YYYES, this is an oil painting; blue field of heather dotted with pink dots, and elegant gentleman in a tailored suit playing golf. Signed by JC Drummmmmmmn or name very close to that. possibly not worth much more than the monies I handed over to the experts.

It was time to make Lumberjack cake, takes quite a long time, certainly much longer than the 30 minutes stated in the recipe but is a real winner, moist and delicious.